Cheney Axes Canada Trip Because It's Too Dangerous

Today's "we swear we're not the Onion" story: Dick Cheney has canceled a planned appearance in Toronto ... because he fears it could be too dangerous a trip to take. "He felt that in Canada the risk of violent protest was simply too high," explained the head of the promotions company that had scheduled the April 24 event at the apparently risky Metro Toronto Convention Centre. The National Post reminds us that Cheney reportedly got stuck inside a Vancouver building for seven hours during a September speech after a protest outside indeed turned violent and a security guard was choked.