Here's Everything Reese Witherspoon Said During Arrest

The Internet agrees: Reese Witherspoon's dashcam arrest video is priceless. The Frisky calls it "a thing of glory," while Gawker says "it's even better than you could have expected." The AP helpfully released a transcript of the two videos floating around. (We recommend reading all the way to the end, where hubby Jim Toth throws his lovely wife under the bus.) Get the general idea here, or click through to AP for the complete transcript:

• Trooper: Ma'am, get back in that car. I'm not going to repeat myself again.
• Witherspoon: I'm pregnant and I need to use the restroom. [She later amusingly admitted this was not true.]

• Witherspoon: I'm a US citizen and I'm allowed to stand on American ground...
• Witherspoon (as she's being handcuffed): This is beyond!
• Witherspoon: This is harassment! You're harassing me as an American citizen! I have done nothing against the law!
• Toth: Reese, can you please?
• Trooper: Yes, you have. You didn't obey my...
• Witherspoon: I have to obey your orders?
• Trooper: Yes, you do.
• Witherspoon: No sir, I do not.
• Toth: Reese.
• Witherspoon: Absolute nothing.
• Toth: Reese, Reese.
• Witherspoon: I'm now being arrested and handcuffed?
• Trooper: Yep.
• Witherspoon: Do you know my name sir?
• Trooper: Don't need to know it. (inaudible)
• Witherspoon: You don't need to know my name?
• Trooper: Not quite yet.
• Witherspoon: Oh really. OK, you're about to find out who I am.
• Trooper (to Toth, after putting Witherspoon in the police car): I tried.
• Toth: I'm sorry.
• Trooper: I absolutely 100% tried.
• Toth: I had nothing to do with that.
• Trooper: I know.

Click to watch the video or read AP's complete transcript.