What makes a life well lived? A new study led by Michigan State University researchers decided to mine the obituary pages for clues, analyzing 38 million US obituaries published over three decades. The researchers weren't interested in how people wanted to be remembered, but rather how family and friends actually chose to remember them. Their findings, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, spotlighted two recurring themes: tradition and benevolence.
Roughly 80% of obituaries referenced respect for customs, often linked to religious involvement, while 76% highlighted the deceased's reliability and kindness. Gender played a role: Women were more often remembered for benevolence, while men were more likely to be associated with achievement and conformity—though in this context, conformity often meant structured civic or military service.
Obituaries also shifted in tone alongside major national events. After 9/11, for instance, mentions of security dropped, but tradition and benevolence became more prominent—especially in New York. Following the 2008 financial crisis, references to achievement fell, while a brief uptick in mentions of pleasure (hedonism) appeared a year later, hinting at a psychological pivot from survival to satisfaction. The COVID-19 pandemic saw mentions of benevolence dip, while tradition surged and stayed elevated. "During a time when communities were making extraordinary sacrifices for the collective good, obituaries became less likely to emphasize caring for others," says lead author David Markowitz.
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Markowitz notes that these patterns suggest obituaries are more than tributes—they're a mirror of shifting societal values and generational expectations. The findings, he says, "suggest that traumatic events affect not only how people react in the moment, but also how they later make sense of meaning and memory."
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