Lifestyle | lexicon Snide Lexicon Names Aging Female Parts By Neal Colgrass Posted Aug 1, 2009 6:00 PM CDT Copied Colleen Delsack, 47, of Alexandria, Va., has Botox injected by Dr. Shannon Ginnan, at Reveal in Arlington, Va. on Friday, June 5, 2009. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin) A humorous glossary, or lexicon of despair? Labels used to describe women's bodies at a certain age "can seem as offensive as teenage behaviour, prompting a need for strict control," Sarah Hampson writes in the Globe & Mail: The Bitch Wrinkle: "Also known as Chapter Eleven (an appropriate illusion to bankruptcy, given the cost of Botox)," these parallel lines run between the eyebrows. Quilting Pattern: Usually found in the lower cheek, these wrinkles "form in a horizontal pattern along with the vertical ones." Vampire Dinner Lips: Thank Diana Athill's recent memoir, Somewhere Towards the End—which describes lipstick running "into the little wrinkles round the edge" of a woman's lips, "making her look like a vampire disturbed in mid-dinner." Bingo Wings: Even Madonna sports this "flabby undercarriage of the upper arms," also known as Dinner Lady Arms. Suitcase Knees: "They are padded and bulky" unless exercise develops "Shar-Pei Knees: wrinkled folds that droop." For the full lexicon, click on the link below. Read These Next Actor Michael Madsen is dead at 67. Soccer star Diogo Jota is killed in a car crash. A teen pilot landed on his 7th continent and immediately got detained. Who added bill's proposed tax on clean energy? No one knows. Report an error