Be Like Baucus, Tiger: A Dork

Tiger Woods clearly needs some advice on dealing with a sex scandal, and Sen. Max Baucus is just the man to set him straight. The gentleman from Montana doesn’t have a scratch on him after the recent revelations about his sex life—that he slept with a staffer and nominated her for a US attorney job without telling anyone they were doing it. His secret? “Call it the Dork Defense,” writes Dana Milbank of the Washington Post.

Baucus “is just too much of a nerd for a sex scandal to stick,” says Milbank. This is a guy who wears wire-rimmed glasses and carries charts with titles like “Distribution of High Cost Insurance Excise Tax.” You can’t imagine him asking his girlfriend, as Tiger allegedly did, to “Send me something very naughty.” His idea of dirty talk probably involves the alternative minimum tax. And so, we forgive him. He seems like a dork in love—and “even dorks deserve a little happiness.”