dumb criminals

Read the latest news stories about dumb criminals on Newser.com

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Someone Wanted to Watch Tom Brady Play a Bit Too Much

Stephanie Pratt gets 30 months in prison for using stolen funds to attend Patriots-Buccaneers game

(Newser) - The bloom may have worn off the Tom Brady rose for Gisele Bundchen some time ago, but a New Hampshire woman's infatuation for the former New England Patriot spurred her to fork over nearly $6,000 for tickets to watch him play against his old team—except the money...

Judge to Defendant on Zoom Call: 'Are You Driving?'

Michigan man in suspended license case had his bail revoked

(Newser) - When Michigan man Corey Harris joined a court Zoom call in a case involving driving with a suspended license, the judge had an immediate question for him: "Are you driving?" Harris replied: "Actually, I'm pulling into my doctor's office ... So just give me one second. I'...

To Evade Cops, Guy Drives Right Off 100-Foot Cliff

And lives to tell the tale. Also, to be arrested

(Newser) - A driver led police on a 45-minute chase on New York's Long Island, drove off a 100-foot cliff into Long Island Sound—and survived, police said. Monday's car chase started when police in Southold in far eastern Long Island responded to a domestic violence call, Police Chief Martin...

Cops: Guy Had His Legs Amputated in Insurance Scam

Taiwanese pair claimed cold temperatures caused frostbite requiring amputation; investigators say it was dry ice

(Newser) - An alleged plot between friends to collect a more than $1 million insurance payout failed, leaving the pair no better for having frozen one man's legs to the point of requiring amputation, prosecutors say. Indeed, the two Taiwanese college students, identified as Zhang and Liao, both 23, are now...

Cops Find Wanted Woman in Most Comfy of Hiding Spots
Cops Find Wanted Woman in
Most Comfy of Hiding Spots
in case you missed it
Nov 26, 2023 11:10 AM CST

Cops Find Wanted Woman in Most Comfy of Hiding Spots

Felon Stacy Usher, sought by police for alleged parole violation in Florida, was found inside couch

(Newser) - A convicted felon in three different Florida counties eluded law enforcement for most of November, but authorities tracked her down this week hiding in her own home. WFLA reports that the Citrus County Sheriff's Office had been searching for 39-year-old Stacy Usher, who, according to its Nov. 8 Facebook...

Lawyer Accused of Bringing More Than Papers to Jail

Ronald Lewis, 77, is accused of smuggling drug-laced documents to inmates in Texas facility

(Newser) - A good attorney will have your back as you navigate all the legalities of your case. An even better attorney knows that "having your back" doesn't translate to sneaking narcotics into the facility where you're incarcerated. That's exactly what lawyer Ronald Henry Lewis is accused of...

Cops: She Stole Car for Stripper Interview, Hoped for Impunity

Kasia Shelton reportedly thought her arrest was a 'joke' as the vehicle was recovered

(Newser) - An Indiana woman seemed to think she did nothing wrong despite stealing a car in order to travel to an interview for a stripper job, police say. Confronted by police, Kasia Shelton, 20, "acted like this whole thing was a joke" and "did not understand what she was...

Cops Say Mom Went to Awful Lengths to Please Her Beau

Jazmin Paez allegedly thought she was hiring a hitman to kill her 3-year-old son, per authorities

(Newser) - Rent-a-Hitman is a parody website , but its fake customer-service awards and customer testimonials have convinced more than a few people to submit legitimate requests for an assassin, leading to at least 30 arrests, per People . The latest to fall for the ruse is apparently Jazmin Paez, an 18-year-old Florida woman...

Prosecutor: Teen Had Very Bad Plan to Get Friend Off Work

Missouri man allegedly made 'swatting' call that forced evacuation of Ford plant

(Newser) - A 19-year-old man in Missouri allegedly had a plan to get his friend off work and in one way, it was a success: Ford's assembly plant in Claycomo, near Kansas City, was evacuated and production was halted Tuesday night after a caller said they were barricaded in a second-floor...

He Tried to Rob the Nail Salon. It Didn't Quite Work

Customers, staff ignore man's demands for money in Atlanta incident

(Newser) - Usually when someone enters a building with what appears to be a weapon and yells "Everybody get down!," people scurry to get down. Not in this Georgia nail salon, where patrons and staff members didn't seem at all fazed by a criminal wannabe's attempts to rob...

Mounties: US Driver With Car Full of Cash, Pot Took Wrong Turn

He was arrested after accidentally joining line to cross into Canada

(Newser) - The Mounties say an American man entered the wrong GPS coordinates and accidentally ended up in Canada—which probably wouldn't have been a major issue if his car hadn't been full of cannabis and cash. In a press release Tuesday, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said the driver...

Cops: Alleged Robber Used 'Gun' Many Will Recognize

Officials say David Joseph Dalesandro held up convenience store with Nintendo 'Duck Hunt' pistol

(Newser) - An armed robbery this week at a South Carolina convenience store apparently wasn't as "armed" as the clerk thought. CNN reports on the Tuesday incident at a Kwik Stop in the small town of Sharon, where a man donning a hoodie, wig, and mask entered the store around...

After Cops Arrested 6, the Arrests Kept Coming
After Cops Arrested 6,
the Arrests Kept Coming
in case you missed it
May 28, 2023 7:20 AM CDT

After Cops Arrested 6, the Arrests Kept Coming

Auto theft case goes off the rails after guardian for detained juveniles shows up in a stolen car

(Newser) - An auto theft case in Maryland took a wild turn after the guardian of four detained juveniles who came to the police station to pick them up was arrested as well. KOMO reports that on May 16, cops ran a check on two occupied Hyundais parked in a business lot...

Feds: Man Applied to Be Hit Man at Parody Site

Air National Guardsman was arrested after meeting undercover FBI agent

(Newser) - Jake Teixeira isn't the only 21-year-old Air National Guardsman facing criminal charges. Tennessee's Josiah Ernesto Garcia was arrested last week after he allegedly offered his services to Rent-a-Hitman.com, unaware that it is a parody site whose owner contacts law enforcement when it looks like requests could...

Guy Who Stole Terracotta Warrior's Thumb Pleads Guilty

Michael Rohana reaches plea deal in crime that outraged China

(Newser) - A Delaware man's legal saga is approaching its end, more than five years after an extremely ill-advised move at an ugly Christmas sweater party that led to an FBI investigation and international tensions. Days before Christmas 2017, Michael Rohana was at an after-hours party in the Franklin Institute in...

Cops Say as They Searched for Porn, He Was Staring at It

Alan Neil Thur of Georgia wasn't exactly sly, authorities say

(Newser) - It wasn't hard to find child pornography during a search of a Georgia man's home, according to police, because he was looking at it on his computer. After receiving a tip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children that 75-year-old Alan Neil Thur had uploaded child...

When Your Getaway Car Is an EV, Charge It First

Georgia police say they busted thieves not far from the crime scene—charging their Tesla

(Newser) - When endeavoring to avoid headlines for criminal idiocy with a green flair, you'd best remember one simple rule: Charge the EV in which you are attempting to flee the scene of your crime. As Fox5 reports, police say two would-be criminal masterminds robbed gaming systems from an unnamed store...

Cops: TikTok Challenge Drove Teens to Act Like Kool-Aid Man

Kids busted for crashing through residents' fences on Long Island

(Newser) - Another day, another stupid TikTok challenge. This time it involves a group of Long Island teens who allegedly decided to emulate the Kool-Aid Man's move of busting through walls —except in their case, they're accused of kicking down local fences. Fox News reports that Suffolk County police...

Cops: Man Took Truck for Unusually Long Test Drive

He was arrested inside an Atlantic City casino, 40 miles away from the dealership

(Newser) - A New Jersey man who apparently gambled on not getting caught took a new pickup truck for a test drive and was arrested at a casino almost 40 miles away. Police in Stafford Township say Jason DeAngelo, 47, took a 2023 white GMC Sierra from a dealership around 11am Saturday...

Cops: Robbery Suspect Fled, Home Alone Moment Ensued

Gainesville police say slipped on a patch of ice as he was trying to flee a botched robbery

(Newser) - An alleged armed robber was foiled in the early hours of Christmas Day in what police say was like a scene from Home Alone. Police say Luis Sajbocho-Ordonez concealed himself behind a business in Gainesville, Georgia, which has been experiencing unusually low temperatures, and demanded cash from an employee who...

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