dumb criminals

Read the latest news stories about dumb criminals on Newser.com

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Guy's Excuse for Going 140mph: I Had to Pee

Let's just say the cops weren't very sympathetic

(Newser) - When you gotta go, apparently you gotta go 140mph: Or at least that's the excuse 26-year-old Adam Lester fed to a cop in Pekin, Ill., after he was allegedly clocked going 140mph through town. Police say Lester was cruising at way more than the 55mph speed limit, then evaded...

5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

Don't mess with a fencing coach

(Newser) - A crime-fighting fencer and a bizarre cold case involving decades-old murders make the cut:
  • Fencing Coach Foils Crime as Only a Fencing Coach Can : Two Nashville robbers had the misfortune to try to steal a purse in a shopping center parking lot just as Franco Scaramuzza pulled in. That's
...

Inmate Plotted Murder ... via Paper Airplane: Cops

Sent note to fellow inmate, who turned him over to police

(Newser) - A Long Island man accused of rape will now also be charged with conspiracy to murder after what police say was a plot hatched using, well, paper airplanes. Patrick O'Sullivan, 21, had hoped to kill his alleged victim and a witness, police say, and offered a fellow inmate $23,...

Cops: Drug Dealer Accidentally Texts Police

An arrest soon follows in New Jersey

(Newser) - A detective in New Jersey's Andover Township got a strange text on his new cell phone: Hey, it asked, want to buy a quarter-pound of pot? Well, sure, replied the detective, who then set up a rendezvous. The would-be seller smelled a rat upon arrival and fled, but police...

Dye Trap Nabs Green-Faced Thief

London police testing invisible spray

(Newser) - A luckless thief in London was caught not red-handed, but green-faced after breaking into a police "decoy car" equipped with a dye trap, the BBC reports. The 28-year-old, who stole a laptop and other items from the car, was arrested when the system alerted police to the theft and...

OJ's New Crime: Cookie Theft?

Prisoner allegedly stuffed his clothes after lunch

(Newser) - OJ Simpson has managed to get himself in trouble again—from behind bars. After lunch, guards spotted the former football star, in a Nevada jail for armed robbery, concealing something under his prison outfit, according to the National Enquirer. Turns out there were more than a dozen cookies underneath, Gawker...

Bank Burglary Suspect Falls Through Roof, Is Arrested

Bank heist goes wrong in unusual fashion

(Newser) - A burglar who tried to break into an ATM at a bank in San Francisco was arrested today after he hopped onto the roof of a nearby building to escape and fell into an apartment, police said. The 230-pound suspect was not seriously injured. "There was a hole in...

Ex-NFLer Watches, via Twitter, as Teens Trash Home

Rounds up list of 200 names, invites them back

(Newser) - A Labor Day party at an ex-NFLer's Stephentown, New York, vacation home turned into a real mess, as hundreds of partying high-schoolers smashed windows, punched holes in walls, and graffitied the place, the AP reports. But it wasn't just that Brian Holloway was upset by the $20,000...

Scrooge McDuck Helps Crack Murder Case

Suspect sold custom-made gold chain with the character to local shop

(Newser) - In life, Miguel Rodriguez was apparently a big fan of Scrooge McDuck. In death, the cartoon character may have helped catch his killers. The Hartford Courant explains the weird case: The 25-year-old Rodriguez was shot to death on a city street this summer, and his killers stole a custom-made gold...

Guy Tweets Pot Request, Cops Tweet Him Back

'Awesome! Can we come too'

(Newser) - Twitter, it seems, might not be the best place to conduct your weed-related transactions. A worker at an auto shop near Toronto has lost his job after tweeting for pot to be brought to his workplace. "Any dealers in Vaughan wanna make a 20sac chop? Come to Keele/Langstaff Mr....

'Catch Me If You Can,' Tweets Fugitive

Shockingly, this story does not end well for San Diego woman

(Newser) - A fugitive convicted in a big insurance fraud scheme who taunted authorities via Twitter is now in custody in San Diego, reports the LA Times . The plight of Wanda Podgurski is getting national attention because of her bold tweets to the DA in San Diego County. "Catch me if...

Carjacking Fail: Gunman Can't Drive a Stick

Police arrest teen suspect

(Newser) - If carjacking is your line of business, it's probably a good idea to learn how to drive a stick shift. Police near Pensacola, Florida, say a woman stopped her car when flagged down by three teen girls last month, reports WEAR-TV . But once she did, police say Antoren Bell...

DUI Suspect to Cops: Here, Have a Beer

Goes on to tell police he's killed people for US government

(Newser) - When police asked a suspected drunk driver for his license, he offered an alternative: a can of beer. "When you ask somebody for a driver's license, you're not expecting a can of beer, that's for sure," says a spokesman for police in Kent, Washington, per...

Attempt to Check Item Off &#39;Bucket List&#39; Ends in Jail
 'Bucket List' 
 Attempt Ends in Jail 
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Jun 2, 2013 11:35 AM CDT

'Bucket List' Attempt Ends in Jail

Lifelong friends try, fail to steal bathing suits from Walmart: police

(Newser) - It's too bad a stint in jail wasn't on the bucket list of two Florida women, because their trip to Walmart on Wednesday would have killed two birds with one stone. Police say lifelong friends Andrea Mobley and Jennifer Denise Morrow's list of things they wanted to...

Calif. Man Pretended He Was Disney Heir: Police

Cops say Stephen Urquidez even had bogus W-2 forms

(Newser) - He might have claimed to be from the happiest place on Earth, but police say Stephen Urquidez was living in his own little bogus world. The California man was arrested Tuesday on burglary charges, and the story is an odd one: Police say Urquidez went by the name "Stephen...

Ky. Man Spends the Night in Supermarket, Eats 6 Steaks

Also 57 cans of Redi-Whip, a cake

(Newser) - Never let it be said that Trevor Runyon lacked chutzpah—or an appetite. The Kentucky man was arrested yesterday morning after allegedly sneaking into a grocery store, spending the night there, and throwing himself a frankly ridiculous feast. Surveillance video shows Runyon walking into a ValuMarket before closing time on...

Woman Celebrates Return of DUI-Lost License—With DUI

Chicago woman said she was partying at a bar before arrest

(Newser) - When preemptively celebrating the return of a driver's license lost to a DUI, most people might attempt to, say, not drink and drive. Or get pulled over. While speeding. With BAC at twice the legal limit. Nevertheless, police say that's the predicament Chicago-area woman Erin James found herself...

Cops: Peeping Toms Crash Through Ceiling

Two men charged after falling into women's stalls

(Newser) - Two men in Duluth, Georgia, who face peeping tom charges weren't hard to find. Police say they crashed through the ceiling of a women's restroom and landed inside the stalls, reports ajc.com . The manager of the movie theater where the alleged peeping took place thinks Eduard Petrovich...

6 Plead Guilty to Terror Plot They Showed Up Late To

They planned to attack the right-wing English Defence League

(Newser) - Six would-be terrorists have pleaded guilty to planning a terror attack in the UK last year, authorities announced today—although planning clearly wasn't their strong suit. Police say the men—Omar Khan, Zohaib Ahmed, Mohammed Hasseen, Mohammed Saud, Anzal Hussain, and Jewel Uddin—had planned to attack a rally...

Burglar Hears Scary Noise, Calls Cops

Turns out it was probably a cat

(Newser) - A burglar in Romania was arrested—after he called the cops himself. Marius Ionescu, 31, apparently got scared by a noise while looting a house; fearing another robber at work, he dove under the bed and called police to save him, the Metro reports. They arrived to find no one...

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