Dumb Criminals: Stupid Criminal Stories, Funny Crimes, and Stupid News - Page 13

Mar 28, 2013 11:49 AM CDT

How Not to Rob a Store

Video captures botched attempt in California

(Newser) - Police in Redding, California, are searching for a criminal mastermind who came thisclose to burglarizing a grocery store, reports Redding.com . Video captures him looking into the locked store, then returning a few seconds later with his face covered in a stocking. He throws a rock at the glass, which...

Waitress Gets Handed
Her Own Stolen ID

Waitress Gets Handed Her Own Stolen ID

Brianna Priddy played it cool, then called cops

(Newser) - When a waitress asks for your ID, you may not want to hand her ... her own stolen ID. That's what recently happened at an Applebee's in Colorado, KDVR reports. Brianna Priddy's wallet was stolen last month, and she was shocked when a customer handed her her own...

Drunk Woman Busted After She Calls 911—for Cigarettes

Feb 20, 2013 12:44 PM CST

Drunk Woman Busted After She Calls 911—for Cigarettes

Cops weren't really amused by her version of a joke

(Newser) - Most people with a good buzz on call Domino's for delivery, but one Texas woman thought it would be just hysterical to instead call 911 to have emergency responders deliver cigarettes to her home. For her trouble, 48-year-old Linda White, described as "very intoxicated," did indeed get...

Cops Bust Guy in Bizarre Dali Theft, Return

Bizarre Dali Theft Explained

Feb 20, 2013 9:06 AM CST

Bizarre Dali Theft Explained

Greek publicist allegedly freaked, mailed drawing back

(Newser) - After a thief walked out of a New York gallery with a Salvador Dali drawing only to later return it by mail , observers were scratching their heads—but now they have an explanation, via prosecutors. Authorities arrested Greek fashion publicist Phivos Lampros Istavrioglou, 29, in the case; he has pleaded...

Brothers Celebrate Lotto Win With Meth, Blow Up House

ATTN: DARWIN AWARDS

Feb 17, 2013 9:31 AM CST

Brothers Celebrate Lotto Win With Meth, Blow Up House

Because who wants to celebrate with a cruise anymore?

(Newser) - Some people might celebrate a lottery win by, say, buying a new car or taking a vacation. But that is entirely too mundane for a pair of as-yet unnamed brothers in Wichita, who scored a $75,000 win and decided to truly live it up on Friday and go for...

Cessna Pilot Spots Thief at His Own House

Jan 2, 2013 12:03 AM CST

Cessna Pilot Spots Thief at His Own House

He foils theft after spying suspicious man from the air

(Newser) - A sharp-eyed pilot foiled a theft at his Florida home after spotting a suspicious character from the air during a fly-by. After seeing an unfamiliar truck in his driveway, David Zehntner watched a man peer into his windows before driving off with his trailer attached to a pickup, NBC reports....

Cops: Burglar
Stole Presents,
Regifted Them

Dec 26, 2012 2:05 PM CST

Cops: Burglar Stole Presents, Regifted Them

But he rewrapped them first

(Newser) - The ultimate in regifting: Cops near Chicago say a man broke into two homes, swiped wrapped presents, then rewrapped them to give to his own friends and family, reports the Chicago Tribune . The 42-year-old suspect even installed a stolen ceiling fan in his bedroom, police say. His undoing was that...

Woman on
YouTube:
I Robbed
a Bank!

CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS

Dec 4, 2012 1:47 PM CST

Woman on YouTube: I Robbed a Bank!

Police somehow caught on to Hannah Sabata's video

(Newser) - Let's face it: These days, bragging about your crimes on Facebook has gotten old. If you really want to grab the limelight, do what 19-year-old Hannah Sabata of Nebraska appears to have done: Post a video on YouTube in which you dangle what you claim are the keys to...

Disbarred Lawyer Jailed
Over Penis Graffiti

Nov 8, 2012 3:37 PM CST

Disbarred Lawyer Jailed Over Penis Graffiti

He allegedly trashed former upscale office

(Newser) - Let's say you're a lawyer who's been disbarred and charged with four felonies for allegedly stealing from clients. Could you blacken your name any further? It's a tall order, but Dallas attorney Tom Corea may have managed it. Corea was sent back to jail this morning,...

Man Admits Burglarizing Pelosi's Home—Twice

Nov 8, 2012 10:31 AM CST

Man Admits Burglarizing Pelosi's Home—Twice

Kevin Michael Hagan, 21, returned to the scene of the crime

(Newser) - A 21-year-old man has admitted to burglarizing Nancy Pelosi's California home on Monday ... and then again on Tuesday, reports NBC Bay Area . Police were tipped off to the first break-in by the House minority leader's alarm system, which was triggered on Monday after the glass doors to her...

Bank President
Greets Robber
—With Colt .380

Nov 1, 2012 11:18 AM CDT

Bank President Greets Robber —With Colt .380

Peoples Bank in Missouri supports concealed gun rights

(Newser) - A bank robber in a Chucky mask got more than he bargained for when he stole $4,779 from the family-owned Peoples Bank & Trust in Missouri this week—the business end of a Colt .380 handgun. The robbery was witnessed by bank president David W. Thompson, who followed the...

Cops: Woman Locked Out of Car Calls 911, Lies About Trapped Baby

Oct 16, 2012 4:36 PM CDT

Cops: Woman Locked Out of Car Calls 911, Lies About Trapped Baby

Police were not happy

(Newser) - Today's police blotter provides a lesson in what not to do when locked out of your car: Do not call 911 and make up a story about an infant trapped inside so the cops will arrive faster. Because they will arrive faster, but then they won't be happy...

Cops: Guy Set
Bonfires to Warm
Pot Plants

Cops: Guy Set Bonfires to Warm Pot Plants

And then the bonfires drew the attention of police

(Newser) - This week's entry in the marijuana chronicles: Police in Aurora, Illinois, say a man set two big bonfires in his backyard to keep his marijuana plants warm. The tragic flaw in his plan: Police came to investigate the fires—it was about 3am—and spotted three suspicious-looking plants in...

Teens Break Into Home,
Party, Put Pics on Facebook

Oct 3, 2012 12:25 PM CDT

Teens Break Into Home, Party, Put Pics on Facebook

Dad finds pics, hands them over to police

(Newser) - Word to the wise: If you're gonna break into someone's house and throw a rager, don't post the pictures to prove it on Facebook. That's what appears to have happened in South Carolina recently, when a family went on vacation around July Fourth, reports WCNC . The...

Cops: Suspect Tried
to Eat Marijuana Plant

Oct 2, 2012 1:38 PM CDT

Cops: Suspect Tried to Eat Marijuana Plant

Not surprisingly, Jeremiah Carmody ended up in jail

(Newser) - Perhaps it was a case of the munchies: Police in northeastern Pennsylvania say an alleged pot dealer tried to destroy evidence by eating a marijuana plant. According to local media, 33-year-old Jeremiah Carmody faces several drug-related charges following events yesterday in Scranton, when police say they went to his house...

Thieves Try to Bust ATM, Blow Up Bank Instead

Sep 24, 2012 10:47 AM CDT

Thieves Try to Bust ATM, Blow Up Bank Instead

Entire branch in Germany destroyed

(Newser) - Thieves in Germany attempted to bust open a cash machine last night … but the resulting explosion ended up destroying the entire bank instead, der Spiegel reports. The blast in the small town of Nottuln-Darup sent debris flying as far as 260 feet. "Damage to the building is likely...

Knife-Wielding Irish Tourist Avoids Jail in Cannoli Theft

Sep 19, 2012 10:34 AM CDT

Knife-Wielding Irish Tourist Avoids Jail in Cannoli Theft

Robert McTernan will be returning home to serve community service

(Newser) - So a knife-wielding Irish guy walks into a Boston pastry shop, takes two cannolis, and ... somehow has avoided jail time: Prosecutors say 25-year-old Robert McTernan admitted Monday in court there were sufficient facts for a jury to find him guilty of larceny for robbing Bova's Bakery in the largely...

Smugglers
Busted With
Primates in
Their Skivvies

Sep 10, 2012 9:12 AM CDT

Smugglers Busted With Primates in Their Skivvies

Lorises headed to Dubai from Bangkok

(Newser) - Is that a slender loris in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? In this case, it was the former: Three United Arab Emirates men headed to Dubai from Bangkok were caught with small primates in their underwear. Two were carrying mammals called slender lorises, Sri Lanka...

Couple Spends
Honeymoon
in Florida Jail

Sep 7, 2012 10:55 AM CDT

Couple Spends Honeymoon in Florida Jail

They allegedly left kids home alone while they got hitched

(Newser) - After a whirlwind wedding, a Florida couple was whisked away to a romantic honeymoon—behind bars. Kymberely Frederick, 30, and Daniel Richards, 34, were arrested Tuesday for alleged child neglect: They'd left their one-, two-, and three-year-old children at home alone while they were tying the knot, police say....

Crooks With Tats:
Cops Can Track
You So Easily

Sep 3, 2012 3:12 PM CDT

Crooks With Tats: Cops Can Track You So Easily

Unique tattoos make suspects easy to identify

(Newser) - Wearing a unique tattoo? May be better to avoid a career in crime, because police are tracking down suspects more often based on their tats, the Tampa Bay Times reports. Case in point: Police in St. Petersburg, Florida, were hunting for a bank robber with the forearm tattoo "Most...

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